Message-ID: <19980113162139.58273@willkuere.informatik.uni-wuerzburg.de>
Date: Tue, 13 Jan 1998 16:21:39 +0100
From: Thomas Koehler <thomas@wi3d01.informatik.uni-wuerzburg.de>
To: linux-ger@infodrom.north.de
Subject: [peter.bergt@magnet.at: A-M$: DIRECTIONS for MICROSOFT TV DINNER]
-----Forwarded message from Peter <peter.bergt@magnet.at>-----
DIRECTIONS for MICROSOFT TV DINNER
--------------------------
1. You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree
to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners.
2. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would
constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may,
however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged
to tell them how good it is.
3. If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the
oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes:
\mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat// Then enter:
<ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
4. If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The
oven will set itself and cook the dinner. Be forewarned that
Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be
restarted.
5. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter
<ms.nodamned.good/tryagain\again/again.crap. This process may have
to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold
reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor.
6. Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big,
larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments,
most of which are empty. These are for future menu items.
7. If the tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need to
upgrade your equipment.
8. Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the
chicken variety is currently produced.
9. If you want another variety, call Microsoft Help and they will
explain that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft
Chicken is all you really need.
10. Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller
versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in
the larger family size.
11. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved
only in Microsoft approved packaging.
12. Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98.
However, that version has yet to be released. Users have permission
to get thrilled in advance.
13. Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the
freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature,
not a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.
--
cu \\\|///
Peter \\ ~ ~ //
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