Hauke Johannknecht (ash@ash.de)
Mon, 9 Nov 1998 11:31:33 +0100 (MET)
This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say
the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
the WordPerfect organization for "Unfair Dismissal".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:
* "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
= "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
* "What sort of trouble?"
= "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
* "Went away?"
= "They disappeared."
* "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
= "Nothing."
* "Nothing?"
= "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
* "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
= "How do I tell?"
* "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
= "What's a sea-prompt?"
* "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
= "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."
* "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
= "What's a monitor?"
* "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
= "I don't know."
* "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
= "Yes, I think so."
* "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the wall."
= ".......Yes, it is."
* "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
= "No."
* "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
= "....... Okay, here it is."
* "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
of your computer."
= "I can't reach."
* "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
= "No."
* "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
= "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because
it's dark."
* "Dark?"
= "Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
in from the window."
* "Well, turn on the office light then."
= "I can't."
* "No? Why not?"
= "Because there's a power cut."
* "A power... A power cut? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
in?"
= "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
* "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like
it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
from."
= "Really? Is it that bad?"
* "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
= "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
* "Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Mon Nov 09 1998 - 11:20:44 CET