Date: Wed, 29 Apr 1998 16:48:14 +0200 (MET DST)
From: Hauke Johannknecht <ash@ash.de>
To: LinuxGer Mailingliste <linux-ger@infodrom.north.de>
Subject: Nerds
Message-ID: <Pine.LNX.3.96.980429164724.6504A-100000@mdma.ash.de>
Shipwreck
A hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost. The
man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other
people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to
5-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do, so for the next four
months he ate bananas,drank coconut juice and longed for his old life
and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. One day,
as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of
his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he
had ever seen. She rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where
did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here
when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said. "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many
are there? You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." "It's
only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up; nothing did." He
was confused. "Then how did you get the rowboat?" "Oh, simple,"
replied the woman. "I made the rowboat out of materials that I found
on the island. The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches. I wove
the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree." "B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You
had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?" "Oh, that was no
problem," replied the woman. "On the other side of the island there is
a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I
fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable
ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the
hardware. But enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?"
Sheepishly, he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the
whole time. "Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said. After
a few minutes of rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the
man looked to the shore he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was
a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and
white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp
rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into
the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit
down, please; would you like a drink?" "No, no thank you," he said,
still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How
about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted,
and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their
stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something
comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a
razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There
in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed
to a hollow ground edge were fastened onto it's end inside a swivel
mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he mused. "What next?" When he
returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines - strategically
positioned - and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him
to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she began, suggestively,
slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a very long time.
You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like
doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months.
You know..." She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was
hearing. "You mean--?" he replied, "I can check my e-mail from here?"