From: Ronald Lembcke <email@example.com>
Subject: Bill Gates' tech support
Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 16:20:04 +0100 (CET)
From: salter@CS.Stanford.EDU (Aaron Salter)
Now that Bill Gates has moved into his brand spanking new housein the
Seattle suburbs, the following is a conversationoverheard last week:
Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."
Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for
thefirst 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"
Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a
littlesmaller than we anticipated."
Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the
Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."
Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new,
largerliving room; or you can use Stacker."
Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into
theroom. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on
thecouch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so
whenyou want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then
put itback when you're done."
Bill: "Uh... I dunno... issue two. The second issue is the light
fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The
threads run the wrong way."
Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play.You'll
have to upgrade to the new bulbs."
Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not rectangular.
Howdo I fix that?"
Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."
Bill: "You're kidding!?"
Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."
Bill: "<sigh> Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I
haveguests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The
waterpressure drops so low that the showers don't work."
Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture fails
toterminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from
Bill: "And how do I fix that?"
Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn
offthe water at the street, turn it back on, re-enter the house and then
you'll beback on track."
Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?"
Contractor: "Hey, remember, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy
Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"
Contractor: "Oh, in your next house-which will be ready to release
sometimenear the end of 1998. Actually it was due out earlier this year,
but we've had some delays..."